Why 'Seize the Day' Mentality Often Backfires
Why do we wear our "busy-ness" like a badge of honor? The Carpe diem 'seize the day' mentality often backfires.
Many times during an intake with a child, parent, spouse, or business owner, we discuss daily routines. Inevitably, the conversation goes something like this:
Me: “Tell me what you do after school/work...
Them: “I take a break, get a snack, change my clothes for about 30 minutes.
Me: Then what?
Them: Then I catch up on emails/start my homework until dinner. Or I do as much as I can before I have to leave for sports/practice sports/sports coaching/sports cheering.
Me: Then what?
Them: Then I get home shower, finish my work, eat something, watch TV and go to bed.
Me: How about the weekends?”
Them: I catch up on my homework/study, or I catch up on work/do household chores.”
"What do you do for Fun?" is not a Taboo Question
When I ask what they do for fun, they hesitate, like it’s a taboo question...something they don’t deserve, or that they feel guilty for pursuing.
Even when you look up synonyms for “slow down” you find: “decline, stagnation, drop, downtown, inactivity, slack”; how judgey and wrong!
Interestingly, neither child nor adult typically says that sports are their “fun time”, even when I prod them.
Most kids and adults say they just want time “to chill” and when I prod further, 'chill' really means “just sitting” or “staring into space.” (By the way, these are great “activities” for thought consolidation, but that is a topic for another day.)
Sleep, Eat, Work-till-you-drop, Repeat
Who in their right mind would ever want a schedule of sleep, eat, work-till-you-drop, repeat? Day after day, month after month, year after year. Why?
It doesn’t have to be like this to be productive, successful, or most importantly HAPPY.
If you are reading this and it describes you or someone you care about, I give you permission to break free of the hamster-on-the-wheel lifestyle.
Vestra frui diem (enjoy your day)!
The Brain Coach Blog is written by executive function coach Mary Turos. Based in Belair, MD, Mary is affectionately known as 'The Brain Coach" for her work helping people achieve harmony using strategies based in neuroscience.